Tough love

October 25, 2006

My previous post was pretty emotional and I must admit that I do feel a little bit better after reading the following.  It has put some of my emotions in perspective and I hope you find it just as enlightening as I did.  Thank you to Terri for sharing this with me. I know it is long, but it is a good read.

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I

will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were

going, with whom, and what time you would be


I loved you enough to be silent and let you

discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to make you go pay for the

bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, “I

stole this yesterday and want to pay for it.”

I loved you enough to stand over you for two

hours while you cleaned your room, a job that

should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,

disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children

must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the

responsibility for your actions even when the

penalties were so harsh they almost broke my


But most of all, I loved you enough , to say

NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m

glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

And someday when your children are old enough to

understand the logic that motivates parents, you

will tell them.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the

meanest mother in the whole world! While other

kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have

cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi

and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat

sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us

a dinner that was different from what other kids

had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all

times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were, and what we

were doing with them. She insisted that if we

said we would be gone for an hour, we would be

gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the

nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us

work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,

learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,

empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I

think she would lie awake at night thinking of

more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the

whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our

minds and had eyes in the back of her head. Then,

life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the

horn when they drove up. They had to come up to

the door so she could meet them. While everyone

else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had

to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of

things other kids experienced. None of us have

ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing

other’s property or ever arrested for any crime.

It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated,

honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean

parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what’s wrong with the world


It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!


Not a good day

October 23, 2006

I’m feeling pretty down today.  I feel as if I have reached a cross roads and don’t know which path to take.  It all just blew up on Friday.  Yes it is about the 16 year old and yes it has made me desperately unhappy.  It also concerns his father and that makes me scared.  I have made so many mistakes in the past.  I have made decisions that I have regretted and I hope I didn’t do it again. I don’t even know how to explain it.  Bottom line, the 16 year old lied about something and I caught him out.  To make matters worse, his mother also lied for him and now I am the villain. How does that work? I feel like I am being punished for something he did and the fact that I pointed his dishonesty(and his mothers’) out to his dad has somehow made me the guilty one.  Instead of him being grounded as his dad promised, his dad entertained him the whole weekend. Even bought him his favourite food for supper.  I was left alone at home with the todlers all weekend.  Am I the only one who is seeing that this child is heading for a disaster? Mind you, as per his dad, he is not my problem, so why should I care??? Why should I worry about the fact that he is constantly out of school because he is “sick”.  Why should I worry because he is failing practically all his subjects? Why should I worry because he is mixing with the wrong friends?  Why should I care because he doesn’t respect his parents or his teachers?  Why should I care?? I ask you!!!!!

What is a parent to do?

July 18, 2006

Ah!! At last!! School holidays are over. Three weeks of what are we doing today? Where can we go? Give us some money!! I need to buy… Mommy, I’m soooooooo bored!!! But alas, that also means that my two older children returned home to their dad. Not without some complications I might add. My 12 year old daughter refused to return. She wants to stay with me. Again. She is unfortunately in Grade 7. Here is SA, that is the grade before the start of High School. I couldn’t allow her to remain here and then try to find a school where she can complete her Grade and still be accepted in a High School next year. Very very very reluctantly and crying profusely, I escorted her to the security check point at the airport and her brother helped her further along onto the plane. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. To stand there and watch my child sobbing, begging and pleading. I got an sms from her saying that she is not strong enough to last until the end of the year. That was the compromise. She may return, but only after she completed her grade. She is a very clever girl. She has worked so hard this year and I didn’t want her to give that up. I feel so helpless. I wanted to call her back from the plane. I wanted to hold her and tell her that she may stay. When I reached my car in the parking area, I sobbed. I cried all the way home and then I received a message from her saying that she just can’t do it. That 5 months is too long. That she doesn’t have the strength to see it through. What to do? What to do? Do I just leave her there and tell her to buck up and chin up and just be strong or do I fetch her? What about her brother? Although he is older than her, what would it do to him to have her living here again and him in Pretoria? What if she is here again and after 6 months decides she misses her dad and wants to go back to him again? Why do I say again? She has done this before. In the end, I want to do what is in her best interest. She is reaching the age where a girl should have her mother around.

The days of our lives…

May 17, 2006

As an answer to a comment left by my good old(sorry YOUNG!!) pal Reluctant Nomad, I am still here. I looked back this morning and saw that I hadn’t posted anything in a while. No wonder people think I have left the blogworld!!! No way!!! I am alive and almost well. My other blogfriend Whatalotoffun mentioned a new hairdo a while ago. It almost looks like the attached picture. Ha ha ha no no not at all. Just kidding.

Yes, I have been naughty. I have ignored my blog duties. I have been so busy being absolutely miserable and sick, that I completely forgot the one thing that makes me feel better immediately. The flu is very bad this year. It just doesn’t let you get any better. Add me being sick to my hubby being sick and both our babies as well. You have a house full of coughing, sneezing and vomiting(yes even that) bodies. I had to take my little 14 month old to the doctor yesterday. Her body just couldn’t fight the virus on its own. She is now on antibiotics and hopefully she will start getting better. I haven’t slept in more than a week and little Jessi is permanently attached to my body. I feel sorry for the nanny at home, because I have to be at work and now she is carrying Jessi on her back. Fortunately I know that this is just a temporary setback and we will all be well again soon.

Apart from the illness, I am still busy searching for old school class mates. I googled some and found them on the net. Isn’t that awesome. Putting the net to good use!!! So, I haven’t been completely away from the internet. I even had time to browse some of my regular reads, but I am afraid I didn’t leave any comments on any of your pages.

I let myself out about how I felt and what I thought about the Zuma happenings, but the blogmonster ate that paragraph, so I decided to just not say it!!!

So, be good and if you can’t be good, be good at it!!!!

I’m 1 today!!!

March 17, 2006

Guess who turns 1 today?

The prettiest little girl in the world is 1 today. You have brought so much love and happiness to our lives. I will endeavor to keep you happy and safe for always. I can’t believe that I have had the priviledge of spending a whole year with you already. It still feels like yesterday when you were bouncing and kicking in my tummy. You are the sweetest, cutest, friendliest, happiest and most loving little girl ever.

Happy birthday my sweet!!!

My pride and joy…

February 27, 2006

In response to my “The week that has been” post of last week, I just want to show you all why I am so happy at home. I did a post on my other blog today, but wanted to share this with you, my regular readers.

So, if you are not into the whole baby and toddler thing, then don’t continue any further. I will catch you on the next post again.

Love to all and all to love…