Bad news….

As a parent of teenage kids, it has become part of life to sleep with one eye open and an ear waiting for the dreaded phone to ring with bad news.   During the past few months we have had a few of these phone calls, but so far, it wasn’t one of our children that got hurt.  You fall back into bed thanking God that your children are safe.  You say a prayer for the parents sitting next to a hospital bed or worse yet, planning a funeral.

Well, during the early ours of Sunday morning, it was in fact our turn.  Mr B’s son, the infamous sixteen year old(now seventeen) that I have often written about in the past, was involved in a horrific motorbike accident.  We are still trying to determine exactly what happened and why he was on a motorbike at 4h00 in the morning??? What we have been able to piece together is that he received a phone call from a distraught female friend asking for help.  He was spending the night with a lifelong mate and this mate gave him his motorbike keys and watched him ride off.  We also know that it was a hit and run because the driver of the vehicle that knocked him off the road failed to stop at the scene and is now the most wanted person in Port Elizabeth.  Fortunately, there was an eye witness who stopped and called an ambulance.

Needless to say, some damage was done and the seventeen year old is now the proud bearer of a broken collar bone, severely bruised and cut body and missing 3 fingers on his left hand.  His feet and legs are a disaster because he was wearing a pair of shorts and trainers at the time of the accident.

As a parent you sit and think what went wrong.  What was he doing on the motorbike after being told time and again that he is not allowed to ride.  Two weeks ago, the kids all stood at the grave of one of their friends who was killed by a drunk driver.  This old man didn’t even know that he caused an accident.  He couldn’t understand why his car wouldn’t move forward and didn’t realise that he was parked on top of a motorbike. The boy(also 17) died on impact and his parents saw his lifeless body lying uncovered in the road.   

This is becoming a weekly occurance.  The kids spend more time at hospital visiting accident victim friends than they are spending time on things that kids should be doing. 

I think it is high time that something has to be done.  Most of these kids ride without licenses or the permission of their parents.  Even though they are surrounded by proof of everything that can go wrong, they still do it.  They jokingly say that they are going to form a band called The Disabled because the one friend is blind in his one eye, the other is covered in burn marks and now the seventeen year old only has 7 fingers. 

When I was growing up, I would never even consider doing something my parents wouldn’t approve of.  We had discipline at school and at home.  We had respect and treated our elders with respect.  Sadly, this is all missing for today’s children.  Schools are limited in what discipline may be applied and it is very difficult to discipline your children at home.  If you try to discipline your kids at home they simply tell you that they have rights and that you must not dare take their rights away from them.  They threaten you with cops and welfare and all those other organizations looking after childrens rights.

What is the sollution?? Who is responsible for cleaning up the mess?? The schools blame the parents, the parents blame the school and the government is blameless because they took the rights of the schools and the parents away???

Where do we go from here?? Maybe reinstating curfews isn’t such a bad idea.  But then again, when will our cops be able to concentrate on serious crime if they have to look out for juvenile delinquents??? As parents, we have the responsibility of raising our children to become responsible, fully functional members of society.  We are in fact busy raising the future leaders, bank managers, policemen, teachers, doctors etc etc.  I just seem to think that the generation that they form part of are going to fail miserably.  They are not equiped to handle what will be thrown at them.  They can’t even pass high school anymore. Why is nobody doing anything to help them.  Why is there not one person in our government that is trying to solve this very very big issue?

We need an Errin Brokovitch desperately.


11 Responses to Bad news….

  1. Hannelie says:

    Poor kid, maybe only those type of lessons will make them learn.
    It’s the same here in Oz, we never dared etc etc. they do.
    Many blame the technology era they are growing up in and the more and more people on earth. Can’t give you an answer on that one, wish I had it.

    I love your professional photo shoot photo, very beautiful.

  2. IITQ says:

    Oh dear Buddess.

    Of course it sounds trite to say thank goodness he’s OK.

    I had a pretty major accident some years back. Very fortunately nobody was even slightly injured. Over time that became a very valuable lesson, and all the rest of the stuff was small in comparison.

    Poor guy. Missing three fingers is not going to be cool. And poor you.

  3. gillian says:

    Hello Gorgeous!

    Sorry to hear. What can one do, I’ve got my two stepdaughters and you’re so right
    there is just no respect from them anymore. Boy I didn’t dare to talk to my folks the way they do.
    Well one has to hope he has learned a lession and just hiding it with the joking around to keep his pride, some males have that wee ego thing they need to protect.
    Here’s hoping he recovers well.
    Take care dear friend. Miss you tons toooo!

  4. angel says:

    i’m so sorry your stepson got so hurt buddess!
    i do wish i had advice for you…

  5. Bosbefok says:

    Hi Buddess, Bummer news girl… I worry too. My whole Family is on Bikes. Terri,Dani and Zane. I suppose it was all down to me being a lifelong lover of biking. Anyway, I guess we just gotta hold thumbs that we dont get that call in the night ….
    As for dicipline in kids …. Tough love is the only way… if they threaten you with social services, then call social services before they do and send them away for a week …. they will soon see it aint as much fun as they reckon !! 🙂
    I think all this mollycoddling is what makes them delinquents…..
    Man !! am I lucky so far …… My kids are great and have yet to give me any grief (although im sure its on its way….) Both are finishing school this year – so soon they will have to fend for themselves …hahaha !!

  6. Buddess says:

    Hannelie – So good to hear from you again. I hear what you are saying and thank you for the compliment on the photoshoot.

    IITQ – Thank you for stopping by and I am glad your accident was a lesson and here’s hoping that this accident will be a lesson to all of his friends to be very very careful.

    Gillian – You made my day!!! Thank you and I am missing you sooooo much. I almost called you the day the accident happened but I would just have cried and cried on the phone.

    Angel – I just have to read your blog to find inspiration. 🙂

    Bosbefok – No my friend, if they haven’t given you grief yet, it aint coming!!!! You did a mighty fine job raising them. So good to hear from you!!! I was contemplating getting a bike again, because our weather is just so beautiful and with petrol prices constantly rising, it is worth investing in a motorbike. The only problem is that people on 4 wheels don’t give a rats …. for people on two wheels!!!!

  7. chuck says:

    it’s the same thing here in the states. when i was young we feared our parents and God, now the schools have taken God away and the state has taken parenting away, when i got out of line my mom would put her foot in my arse and then read the Bible to me until i cried, i much prefered the foot over the book. thank God the boy is alive, 7 fingers will be a reminder the rest of his life, if he doesn’t take it serious now he may some day when he really needs those fingers. my little brother who is 36 wrecked a motortbike last night and went to the hospital with a concussion, he’s lucky that was all. take care keep praying and stop by and see me sometime.

  8. livewire says:

    Oh sweetie I’m sorry to hear all of this. He is fortunate to have made it through and with any hope, has learned several things. Either way, this is surely traumatic for him and certainly for you. Things are the same here with parents vs kids vs government and it’s just sick! I am in favor of reinstating curfews but with police department cutbacks, what are they going to enforce – a robbery or rape in progress or juveniles racing on private land without permits? I could go on about this for hours but the one thing I feel strongly about is that a high percentage of those juveniles I just mentioned are going to turn into the perpetrators of the aforementioned robberies/rapes in about 10 years time because no one enforced the idea of what is and is not acceptable within the confines of the law at an early age. Everyone, as a whole, needs direction. I hope the healing continues; for everyone involved.

  9. buddess says:

    Chuck – Hi there!! I have been to visit you several times, but I couldn’t leave any comments. I prolly need to clean out my history and cookies and so forth, but it was great to hear from you. I am sure your brother is feeling much better now!!!

    Livewire – I am glad in a way to see that this isn’t only a South African problem. I agree with your statement that evereyone needs direction and the sad thing is that no one is looking at God for His direction.

  10. angel says:

    so did you fund an “erin” or have you got your hands full…
    i do hope you’re okey- i’m having one of thooooose weekends!

  11. Terri says:

    Hi Buddess, I’ve been away from blogs for far too long it seems. I’m so sorry to hear about your stepson but thank God it wasn’t worse. I’m fairly sure he will have learned a lesson or two from this. Then again, as a biker myself I know, too, that no matter how careful you are these things can happen so quickly. Our Blackbird is in the shop as of Monday but luckily all Hubby has is two bruised knuckles and a sore heart ‘cos his bike is broken.

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