I feel happy

August 31, 2006

I feel happy, oh so happy!!! I have recently started playing something I really enjoy. No, it isn’t a musical instrument (I wish). I started playing pool again. Good old pub style pool and I am kicking ass!!! Mr B shouts at me about my (??)technique, but it still helps me win the games. Why does everything have to be technically correct? If I can sink the balls using my own technique, who cares about the “proper” technique. We (Mr B and I) play at our local pub and I must admit that there are about 30 regular players and I am the only one that has beaten all of the others!!!! Not bad for the only female player!!!! I played against the best guy I have ever come across and I am sad to say that I could have beaten him. The moment just got too big and I choked. Sis on myself. He told me afterwards that that was the best game of pool he has played in a very long time. Rematch time today!!! He promised to be there. I am wearing a low cut blouse and hopefully my natural talents will help me distract my opponents!!! heeheehee, I’m so wicked!!!


Houseguest #3

August 28, 2006

Ok, sit tight. I have no idea how long this is going to get. I need to get this off my chest. Either that or I am going to climb the walls. Mr B has the ability to take in strays. Now, I don’t mind the animal kind, but he attracks the human kind. Way back in September of last year I posted about Houseguest #1 here . Then in January, I wrote about Houseguest # 2 here. It has happened again. We have another houseguest and he has been there for the past 2 months. He is a long lost military friend who had to undergo a shoulder op and needless to say, his stay seems to be more of the permanent nature, yet again!!! This man is 44 years old, ex military, ex policeman, ex farm foreman and now looking for gainful employment. He receives a pension from the police force, but that basically covers the maintenance he has to pay for his 3 boys. Now you are probably wondering what the problem is??? Let me put it this way. He has no manners. He farts and burps when and where he pleases. He snores so badly that he is keeping me awake at night. Further to that, he is selfish beyond belief. If you are a regular reader, you will know that I have a pretty full household. What with 6 children, Mr B’s cousin(who now has a girlfriend who visits weekends), the 2 of us and Mr Selfish Fart Burp Eat a lot? I normally cook for at least 8 to 10 people at any given meal. Now, my problem is this. For example, Mr SFBE spent the weekend at his girlfriends’. Out of the blue, he arrives yesterday just as we were about to have lunch. Not just him, but he had his 3 boys in tow!!! Not a word of warning that he might be here for lunch. I am ashamed to admit this, but we postponed lunch. We put everything away and carried on watching the Grand Prix. He had to take the children back to their mom and I promise the minute he was out the door, we all ran for the kitchen. Mr B recently went hunting and shot a Springbok and we smoked both the legs of the springbok in our smoker. Now if you know meat, you will know that a Springbok isn’t known for its quantity of meat. We carved the meat and all had a fair share and then Mr SFBE returned and served himself a plate of food that would have fed 4 Ethiopian children for at least a week. Not a please or do we mind or has everyone had something to eat, because he put everything that was left over in his plate. We didn’t make a big lunch. I made a green salad and potato salad and the smoked meat. I lost it completely. I blasted this man for his selfishness and he just gave me a blank look and said “but I thought you all had finished eating” – So what if we all had, so what if there was still enough meat left for samies!!!! So what if that was going to be supper or toasted samies for breakfast!!!!

That isn’t all. He is so untidy. I cleaned his bedroom(actually the cousins’s – who is now sharing with the 16 year old) last weekend and packed the wardrobe neat and tidy. It is a mess. It looks worse than the kids’ room. Sis man!!! He is careless too. He leaves his painkillers on the bed and we have two toddlers in the house. We have asked him to keep the bedroom door closed but no!!!!! He uses the bathroom and does a number 2. Man o man o man!!!! Then he leaves the door open and the whole house smells so bad that we have to sit outside. He walked into our bedroom the other morning and well, we were sort of busy with something and he just walked right in. No knocking, no asking if he may enter – he just walked right in!!! I thought I was going to die. How can people be so ignorant? I thought Mr B was going to kill him. He blasted him out of the room and mind you that was that for our little bit of privacy.

Their is an upside to this story. He met a girl 17 years younger than him a month ago. They have fallen in love and are moving into a flat this coming weekend. Isn’t that wonderful? Love at first sight!!! Who else believes in love at first sight? Come on, don’t be shy. Put up your hands. Anyone??? I kinda know this girl and therefore felt it my duty to warn her about some of his antics and that just turned her on more!!! Match made in heaven, don’t ya think?


August 25, 2006

Didn’t you like my pick of the week? I haven’t had any comments for him. Did you perhaps miss it, if so here is the link.


August 25, 2006

Some fun!!!

August 24, 2006

Pick the month you were born:
January–I kicked
February–I loved
March–I smoked
April–I dry humped
May–I choked on
June–I murdered
July–I did the Macarena with
August–I had lunch with
September–I danced with
October–I sang to
November–I yelled at
December–I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1——-a birdbath
2——-a monster
3——-a phone
4——-a fork
5——-a Mexican
6——-a gangster
7——-my cell phone
8——-my dog
9——-my best friends’ boyfriend
10——-my neighbor
11——-my science teacher
12——-a banana
13——-a fireman
14——-a stuffed animal
15——-a goat
16——-a pickle
17——-your mom
18——-a spoon
20——-a baseball bat
21——-a ninja
22——-Chuck Norris
23——-a noodle
24——-a squirrel
25——-a football player
26——-my sister
27——-my brother
28——-an ipod
29——-a permanent marker
30——-a llama
31——-A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White———-because I’m cool like that
Black———–because that’s how I roll.
Pink————because I’m NOT a homosexual.
Red————because the voices told me to.
Blue———–because I’m sexy and I do what I want
Green———because I hate myself.
Purple———because I’m cool.
Gray———-because I was drunk
Yellow——–because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange——-because I hate my family.
Brown——–because I was high.
Other——-because I’m a ninja.
None——–because I cant control myself

Now type out the sentence you made in the subject line and enter in the comments field. I got I danced the Macarena with a fireman (wasn’t Dan Dan) because I’m cool like that.

If I was wearing a blue shirt it would have said I danced the Macarena with a fireman because I’m sexy and I do what I want.

Let me know what you get.

Sofi’s Grandmother

August 23, 2006

I was cleaning out my mailbox today and came across this joke. I have completely forgotten about it and I laughed so hard, I almost fell of my chair.

Sofi was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandmother to know about it.

One day the police raided the whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and Sofi was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the drive way. Suddenly Sofi’s grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.Gogo asked. “Why are you standing in line here dear?”

Not willing to let her grandma know the truth. Sofi told her grandmother that the policemen were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.
“That’s very nice of them. I think I’ll get some for myself” said grandma and went to stand at the back of the line. A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all the prostitutes.
When he got to grandma, he exclaimed, “Eish, Still going at it at your age? How do you do it?”

Grandma replied, “It is easy dear. I just take my false teeth out, rip the skin back and suck them dry”.

The cop fainted!!!!!! and everybody dispersed.

Flags of the world

August 22, 2006

I just spotted that my flag counter has hit 20 countries!!! Some one in Spain and Mexico must have accidentally come across my blog.

I will have to go and check my stats to see if I can identify them. Amazing little tool that!!! I have also noticed that I haven’t had any visits from anywhere in South America!! Interesting!!!