Revealing oneself

April 25, 2006

Hi guys. I am still around, I promise. I have been extremely busy at work. The two jobs have now changed into one full time position. I am also busy arranging a reunion for our high school class. I have been contacting and looking for classmates and have managed to find just over half of the class of 230. Believe me, the people are spread all over and many have relocated overseas. The people I have managed to find, is full of anticipation and I am surprised at the eagerness and interest. I am in for a busy couple of months until the reunion in September. I haven’t even been able to play with my camera much. My laptop and phone and telephone directory have been receiving all the attention lately. I can hear my camera screaming at me from my handbag. It is always nearby, but I don’t think it likes being pushed aside at all.

After the recent interview done by Reluctant Nomad, I haven’t had too many readers. I think my honesty scared some people away. That is however the risk you take. Maybe there was a certain mystery that has now disappeared. I am what I am and having had a relatively tough life, I am happy to be who I am today. I am a happy several times divorced middle class white South African female who works hard at my job and even harder on my family. I love life and all it has to offer.

In a previous post, I mentioned a friend and I also published pics she sent to me. This friend has now outdone herself and she sent me the following picture. It is a collage of my life so to speak. Have fun and laugh your head off. Yes, I’m the one pulling the funny face.

I thought that this was so special and wanted to share it.


Sweet 16 & coincidences….

April 20, 2006

Bazil’s first born, Roche, turned 16 on 17 April. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCHE! He is such a tiny person and people often think he is only 12 or 13. He has to share the day with his little brother Jodi who turned 2 on this day also. How about that for planning? Mind you, we have another birthday on that date and it is also the birthday of Bazil’s brother. So we have brother, son, son on the 17th and another big day in our family is 2 April. That is the birthday of my brother and my oldest son, Roche.

Here is a picture of firstly Roche on his 16th with his little sister and then Jodi on his second birthday doing his now favourite teasing of the cats. The third picture is of my two teenage children taken the day of my Roche’s confirmation.

Oh, and did you spot the fact that both our sons are called Roche?

Biker bitches

April 19, 2006

I phoned an old biker friend and asked her for some of our old biker pictures. She was only too happy to oblige. Now, I am reluctant to publish pictures of myself, but you won’t know which one I am anyway. We also found a picture of our friend Terri and her husband Blairblog.

Those were special days and contrary to belief that bikers are bad people, we were actually overgrown teenagers having a blast of good clean fun. I am feeling nostalgic today and bear with me. This will pass.

Enjoy some of the fun we had. Don’t we look like big, bad, biker bitches???

I have to apologize for the quality of the pictures. They are copies of copies of copies and therefore has lost some resolution. It still paints a pretty picture though. Makes me want to go to the pub and have a couple of tequila’s!!!

Interview Questions for Terri

April 13, 2006

As mentioned in my previous post, I asked Reluctantnomad to interview me and he did so beautifully. As the rules of the competition states, I left an invitation for someone to ask me to interview them in the same fashion. Terri asked me to interview her. Let’s see if she remains my friend after all this is done…

Terri is a 30 something female living in Ireland with her husband, Dave and his 15 year old daughter, Cinderella(as she is lovingly called by her wicket stepmother). She is originally from South Africa and they have been living in Ireland for the last couple of years. Cinderella only recently joined them. She calls herself a Saffa in a strange country. She has no children of her own and seems to be a die hard when it comes to her resolution not to have children.

Terri comes across as a very serious workaholic on her blog. There is however a side to her that she reveals every now and then. That is her playful side that I have had the pleasure of getting to know during our biking days. She loves competing. She loves to dance and have fun. She has a great sense of humour. She is at her best next to a campfire with some OB’s and good company. She is definitely someone who you can confide in. She is an honest, sincere, no nonsense type of gal. She loves to travel and has seen places most people one dream of visiting. I recall a recent ski holiday and an injury sustained. I must not forget to mention that Terri loves Frangipani’s and the first person who can create a computerized scratch and smell technology, will be her hero forever!!!. Actually, there is a single word that describes her to the tee. FEISTY!

Buckle your seatbelt, put on your helmet, have another chocolate and fill your coffee mug because here goes!!!

Question 1: You have two creative abilities that comes across very strongly in your blog. You love to write and you love to take pictures. Have you considered or will you consider publishing your creative results? I know that you have dedicated a blogspot to your Terristories and have even won a prize in a competition for short stories, but would you take the plunge and sit and create a book and try to get it published, sold and actually make some good money out of it?

Question 2: It is obvious from your blog that you are very close to your mother and sisters. Your younger sister is also in Ireland, but your Mom and older sister is still in South Africa if I read correctly. If Dave had to tell you today that you are coming back to South Africa for good, what would your reaction be? You recently wrote about a position that you have acquired at work and that everything there is falling into place after all the time spent studying. Would it be an easy decision to make? Or would you prefer to stay there and fulfill another big favorite and that is to travel. There are still places on your list of places to see and would you like to first accomplish that?

Question 3: This one is very similar to a question that Allan asked me. Do you get sentimental and miss days gone by? I am particularly asking about the rallies. Just getting to the rally site was a rush of its own. Dave always had superfast bikes and I know that you loved speed. Getting there, pitching tents, drinking lots of whatever flows, sampling some “giggle-twak” and being with friends, was just so special. I know the weather isn’t always too good in Ireland, but do they have rallies there? Enough OB’s can sort out any foul weather, right?

Question 4: Has the fact that Cinderella(on the left) is living with you now, impacted on your life in a huge way? I must admit that she sounds like an angel. She seems to have slotted in so easily. What with cooking, baking and even watching sport with her dad? I know what it is like to have teenagers in the house, but I am used to it. I have 4 children and raised them from babies. You and Dave have been together since his children were little, but having spent a couple of years on your own, must have been cause for an adjustment. Ok, this isn’t fair because this is now becoming a multipart question, but seeing that I am considering moving to a different country, how easily did she adapt to school and teenagers there? People have a tendency to consider South Africa a bit behind in what is actually happening in the world.

Question 5: You wrote a beautiful tribute to your father on the anniversary of his death. I will never forget it because I think that is the best piece I have read on any blog ever. You must be wondering where this is going? I know that you enjoy a lot of things considered male sports, ie shooting, pool, biking etc. Your father passed away when you were still very small. Where does your love for that come from? You don’t talk about where you grew up or went to school etc on your blog and I am just curious to know how you got involved with it. You mentioned your shooting abilities in posts and I know that you can play pool better than most guys I know.

I have suddenly got hundreds more questions and I just read your last comment you left on my blog and I have decided to stop here and let you out of your misery. It was fun researching you and I hope I did you justice. You are a special person and there aren’t many like you around.

Interview Answers

April 11, 2006

A while ago I asked Reluctant Nomad to interview me like he was interviewed. He accepted and has posed some tough interview questions. He is quite accurate in his view of me as a person. He has caught on to what I have exposed of myself. A couple of mishits here and there, but that is only due to how I told a story and not his fault at all. You can wander on over to his site to see the questions he posed and here are my answers. Some of them were difficult to get into words, but let’s see how it goes.

Answer Question 1: I am terribly sentimental. I cry if I see pictures of my friends that have left the country. I cried when I had the mishap with my new camera and lost the pictures I took for Terri in Ireland. My soulmate is my friend Gillian who has moved to New Zealand. I worked with her ex husband and it was them who introduced me to biking. I also met my third husband through them. Gillian and I shared everything. I think I somehow portrayed a picture of a bad biker chick who can drink with the boys and not be bothered. Instead I am the one who would be out on the dancefloor dancing up a storm and drinking just enough to keep myself mellow. I hate hangovers and I hate not being in control of myself. I however love to have fun. My then husband was a heavy drinker and I had to look after him and make sure he didn’t make a complete fool of himself. I wasn’t always successful at that and I sometimes think that I had a bigger laugh at him than most people. All in all, this was a happy period in my life and I think that is why I often refer back to it. My life up until that point wasn’t very exciting.

Answer Question 2 – Yes, my first husband is the one that took me to my matric dance, but no, he isn’t the one who hurt me. I in fact hurt him. We were married when I was 21 and soon after had 2 children, but when I was 27, life just didn’t make sense anymore. I went into a severe depression and left my him. I think I blamed him for the state I was in. I met him when I was 16. We never went out. It is not that I wasn’t allowed. He wasn’t interested in pubs and clubs and so forth. I was madly in love and was happy to sit at home and watch videos or have a braai with his friends. I lost contact with all my schoolfriends. My whole life focussed on keeping him happy. I started working soon after leaving school and before I knew it, I was in a rut. My life consisted of work, home, work, home and church. We never played. Money was always an issue in our relationship. I had to please explain what I did with my salary. Nothing was mine. Not even the children. It was always his car, his house, his children, his, his, his. He was a very egotistical and selfish man. He didn’t want to have children and was upset with me when I fell pregnant. He was/still is a pigeon fancier and that was Number One in his life. I just got tired of it. I made a decision and left. The kids stayed with me and thanks to them, I didn’t commit suicide even though I was close to it on several occasions. I saw a doctor, got medication and started clawing back. I met a wonderful(??) man. We dated a while, got married and when I realized what a mistake I made, it was too late. Now followed a very dark period. It took 3 ½ years out of my life. If it wasn’t for a colleague, I would probably still be stuck in that situation out of fear for husband number 2. I would prefer not to talk about it if you will forgive me. Maybe at a later stage, I will tell all. The one who hurt me, was the one that I trusted completely and that was husband number 3. From the day that we met, we were close. We just understood each other so well. Yes, he did drink too much, but when drunk he became a teddy bear. We had so many laughs together and my kids loved him. He helped me become myself again. He also helped me to get my children to visit me again and stay over for weekends and holidays. He had two children whom I adored and his son lived with us. He asked me to marry him 23 times and on the 24th occasion I said yes. Because of what happened before, I was terrified and he knew that. We got married in July and at the end of November that same year, he told me that he was seeing someone else and wanted to be with her. I was devastated. I begged and pleaded with him not to do this to me and the children. I even told him to have his affair and get it out of his system. How desperate does that sound? Things seemed to get better and we even bought a house together and just before we were about to move into the house, I realized that he was still seeing her. Next think I know, I got chucked out of our home and had to collect my clothes from the back of a bakkie parked in the driveway. He had the affair and still chucked me out of the house. We were divorced just after our first wedding anniversary. Re-reading this answer, I realized that I didn’t completely answer your question.I dont speak about the other two because husband #2 was the biggest mistake of my life and husband #3 broke my trust. Even though we are on speaking terms with each other, I still haven’t forgiven him for what he did. Husband #1 and I are on very good terms and we often talk and mail each other. He has realized that me leaving him was the biggest favor anyone has ever done for him. He has turned himself around and is a much better person now.

Answer Question 3: I met Bazil while all this commotion was happening with Husband #3. He was a shoulder to cry on, if I can put it that way. He allowed me to express my emotions. He saw me at my worst and he didn’t take advantage of that. He built my confidence up again and made me feel sexy again. I lost almost 20 kg’s while all this was happening. I was in fact looking better than I did it many years. I believe that God will forgive me for living in sin. If anybody should understand, it is Him. The idea of ‘living in sin’ would have bothered me when I was 18, but not anymore. I believe that if your heart and faith is in the right place, you are doing ok. Both Bazil and myself feel the same way about marriage. He was married for a very long time and in that time had several affairs and even a child with another woman. His ex-wife is part of our lives and even though it was difficult at first, I have accepted that. He is very involved with his children and therefore has daily contact with their mother. It is not that I have trust issues, boy because I should have. I believe that our relationship is stronger than any marriage can be. We have both been hurt before and we respect each other’s feelings on the subject. Yes, we have two beautiful children together and I am very happy with him. We have more parties than I did in my biking days, but I now have a responsibility towards especially my two babies. They come first and that is just perfect with me.

Answer Question 4 – ‘Cocaine Cowboy’ is long gone. I threw him out. Whenever he comes to our house, the two of us ends up in an argument. He is the weakest person I have ever met. His own mother has disowned him. He still has an on/off relationship with the mother of his child. Even though I feel dreadfully sorry for that little boy, I have realized that I just can’t save everyone. The boy has a granny who is looking after him now and even though the mother also lives there, he is under the care of his granny and that is good for him. I am not one to be messed with. Don’t abuse my kindness and don’t break my trust. That is what he did. He stole from us and I will never forgive him for buying drugs while Bazil’s 15 year old son was with him in the car. As for taking him in in the first place, that wasn’t my decision. Bazil has a kinder and more giving heart than me. We didn’t even take him in. He just moved in on his own. But he is gone now and I am happy for that.

My teenage children live with their father in Pretoria. He was transferred there just over 3 years ago and we decided that it would be better for the children’s education and sport activities, to go to school in Gauteng. They have more opportunities there and are both keen at sports. My son plays cricket and my daughter swims on provincial level. She does very well academically and is in a very good school. She stayed with me for almost a year, but decided to go back to her dad because she wasn’t happy in school and missed swimming. She adjusted well to being back there and I see them school holidays. Not easy, but life isn’t always easy and it is a price I have to pay for decisions I made earlier in my life.

Answer to Question 5 – I won’t stop them. I believe that they know the dangers involved because that has been told to them many times. How can I tell them that they aren’t allowed to ride a bike if I do it myself? I believe that they will all become bikers and I have to trust that I have taught them enough about the dangers involved. My son is getting a bike next year and he is very excited about it.

Answer Question 6: With the two little ones to contend with, we don’t get time to go to the movies, but we often get DVD’s. If a movie hasn’t caught my attention in the first 10 minutes, I will turn it off. I don’t particularly enjoy a lot of violence and blood. If it has sex in, I won’t mind as long as it forms part of the storyline. I would totally walk out of a cinema if I didn’t like the movie. I always try to find out something about a movie before I watch it anyway.

For those of you who may want to be interviewed in this fashion, here are the Official Interview Games Rules:

If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying, “interview me”.

I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.

You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.

You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

For my friend Terri…

April 9, 2006

I promised Terri some pictures and it turned into a Sunday mystery trip. The whole family had to help with this one. Can you imagine how many times we heard “were are we going” and “why are we stopping here” today?

We took a drive to Schoenies and down Marine Drive. We ended up in Bluewater Bay where I took some lovely pictures of Algoa Bay with the skyline of PE in the background. I even tried to get close to the new Coega harbor wall to show you the progress being made. We were up in Fort Frederick and I took pictures of the Bakensriver Valley and the harbor.

Over excited me, got home, rushed to the computer to download the pictures and somehow messed the whole thing up. I shed some tears, uttered some unheard of profanities to myself, got back in the car and took the trip down the Marine Drive again and will attempt Bluewater Bay later in the week. I am so sorry about the mishap. Had some beautiful pics, but I hope these make up for it. See if you can recognize the spots I chose.

Then of course with this being PE and such a beautiful sunny Sunday, it was inevitable that this following pic had to be taken.

This last one has a story attached. We have often driven past and if you look at almost the centre of the picture you will see something red on the rock. Upon enlarging it, we found it to contain a rather special picture. Have a look at the enlargement of the rock. This picture was taken near a youth camp and I assume that it was painted by a bunch of youngsters who attended the youth camp.

I hope you enjoyed the trip as much as we did.

Here’s watching you!!

April 6, 2006

Here’s me watching you! Hope you didn’t get a fright??