My pride and joy…

February 27, 2006

In response to my “The week that has been” post of last week, I just want to show you all why I am so happy at home. I did a post on my other blog today, but wanted to share this with you, my regular readers.

So, if you are not into the whole baby and toddler thing, then don’t continue any further. I will catch you on the next post again.

Love to all and all to love…


The week that has been

February 23, 2006

What a strange week this has been. A week full of happiness, reassurances, reliving hurt burried very deep, uncertainty, helplessness, self-doubt, disappointment, excitement, relief. I don’t even know how to start putting all this into words. Let’s try it like this.

1. Happiness & reassurances

On Monday night myself, Mr B and the kids had to attend a Golden Tee function. Golden Tee is a hobby of ours. It is a golf game and if you want to know more you can go here to have a look at what it is all about. This finished at about eight. Mr B and I decided to do something we haven’t done in a very long time. We got the little ones settled and arranged a babysitter and we went out for supper. Just the two of us. He took me to the Ocean Basket which is obviously a seafood restaurant. We are both very fond of seafood and over a seafood platter and a bottle of wine, he thanked me for everything that I do for him. He also thanked me for putting up with his family who forms an integral part of our daily living. He was under the impression that I don’t get anything in return from him but yet I continue to love and support him in whatever he is doing. He called me the perfect wife for him. No, it wasn’t a proposal and no, we are not getting married. All he did, was reassure me that we have a future together. It also confirmed that he is happy with our relationship and we even set some goals for the future. We never get the opportunity to discuss such matters at home. Mainly because we are never alone.

2. Reliving hurt buried very deep

Two blogs really got to me this past week. The first was ekapa and the other was a post by Reluctant Nomad. Both posts dealt with depression and suicide. It took me back to a very dark period in my life that I have hidden for a long time. Some people who know me might know snippets about it, but in general, I went through it alone. Not recommended. You shouldn’t go through something like that on your own. I will blog about it when I have more confidence, but I am not ready yet.

3. Uncertainty

I missed an appointment with my boss and due to family reasons couldn’t attend a launch with him. He was very upset with me and told me that he has invested a lot of money in me and is not happy about what I did. Needless to say, I have a sword hanging over my head and I am waiting for the sharp pain that is bound to come.

4. Helplessness

A very good friend lost her father yesterday. She is a single mother with a boy of 2 and her father was her only living relative apart from a sister who lives in England. She is in total despair. Apart from being extremely hung over today, she is dealing with a big loss and I don’t know how to help her. She is not a very strong person. When she left her fathers’ bed in the hospital,, she went straight to a pub and got sloshed. I am scared that it will become a vicious circle and that she won’t get out of it easily.

5. Self-doubt

I left a comment on a blog which I prefer to leave anonymous for now. I am afraid that it could be taken in the wrong context and then misunderstood. It is so easy to read a post, leave a comment and not think twice about it. But the minute I pressed the publish button, I was hit by a wave of panic. Am I really as aware of others’ feelings as I think I am? Have I turned into a non-thinking blabbing idiot? Please don’t answer that one. Do I even have a clue? What gives me the right in the first place? Be careful and thoughtful, that is my motto from now on.

6. Disappointment

I didn’t get nominated for the blog awards. I only felt disappointed today when I looked at some of the blogs that did get nominated. Maybe next time or maybe not. I still enjoy blogging and I ain’t stopping yet.

7. Excitement

I can’t be all bad. I went to a client this week to assist with a Pastel problem and after spending 2 hours with him, he offered me a job. Seeing that I had to fix almost a whole year’s worth of errors by his bookkeeper, he thought it appropriate for me to rather just do his books for him from now on. This could be a solution with the problem with my boss therefore, I am excited about the project. Just 5 more clients like this and I can justify a full time position here and a hefty increase.

8. Relief

A few posts back I wrote about a friend whom I have been missing desperately. She called me on Saturday. We must have been on the phone for over an hour. I even spoke to her new man. He promised me that he is taking care of her and that she is happy. She even has pictures of myself and my little ones up on the walls in the house. He agrees that we need to see each other. So, hopefully we will have the oppertunity to see each other later this year.

Some of you might have noticed that I haven’t published anything since 15 Feb. Sole reason for that, is my posts keep vanishing into cyberspace. Maybe someone is trying to tell me to stop. I am not ready to listen to that someone yet. I have too much I still want to say. So, stay tuned if you like and continue on the journey with me. Yes, it is a journey of self discovery and I am learning more and more about myself each day.

Call that #$%*&!!!

February 15, 2006

I wrote my best post ever yesterday. What happened? Blogger dumped on me.
I couldn’t publish it. I couldn’t save it to draft. I couldn’t even copy and paste
it to keep it elsewhere until Blogger was well again. I can’t begin to describe my feelings. It is like when it is Valentines Day and you don’t even get one e-mail wishing you happy Valentines Day or one little sms saying “Thinking of you” or
“I have always found you extremely sexy. Will you be my Valentine?”
I reckon it is the beginning of the end for me.

Who am I kidding? I have a wonderful partner and the only sad thing is that he is not romantic like me. So, instead of taking me out to dinner & dance on Feb 14th, he takes me out almost every day. He buys me flowers out of the blue or takes me for a drive to the beach. He will walk past me in the kitchen while I am busy at the stove and spank my bottom. So, who am I kidding. He could be more romantic than me. Who needs Valentines Day anyway if I’ve got him?

Do you play the dating game??

February 10, 2006

I thought this was brilliant.

This has got to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It appeared in The Otago Daily Times:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your Ute, hunting, camping and Duck shooting, cozy nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call (031)475- 6420 and ask for Daisy.

Read on ……………………

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Otago branch of the SPCA about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever. Men are so easy !!!!!!

Could she do it???

February 9, 2006

I know you have all been busy with your own lives, but I just wanted to say,
I DID IT!!! (no not that), I threw him out. My houseguest from hell is gone. He must still remove all his belongings, but he has not been here for 4 glorious days. He apparently phoned this morning to know if we can pick him up. I think if eyes could be lethal weapons, mine definitely were this morning. I gave Mr B one look and he told his father that he is busy today.
I think the man has run out of clean clothes to wear, but I DON’T CARE! It isn’t my problem.

I approached him Friday afternoon last week after a week of hell and told him very politely that I do not wish for him to live in my house any longer and that he needs to find alternative dwellings. His first response was shock, then the “but why” question and when I answered that he obviously went into denial. When I further informed him that I overheard a conversation between him and Mr B’s 15 year old son wherein I was called “the fat bitch”, he resorted to tears and that is when I took him by the hand and told him that I don’t want any hard feelings between us, that I respect him as Mr B’s father, but “you are not welcome in my home anymore”. About an hour later, he was dropped off at his girlfriends house. He arrived back on Monday dressed in a suit. Don’t know what that was for, because he spent all day in the house. He avoided me and didn’t even eat the food I made for supper. On Tuesday morning he had the audacity to ask Mr B for money because he wants to go shopping. That was when Mr B also finally lost it. He gave his father R1000.00 and told him that this is the last time and asked him where he wants to be dropped. That was the last I saw of the old man. Now, I think he has spent all that money and thinks he can come back because Mr B couldn’t possibly have meant what he said. I have started moving furniture around and bedrooms have been cleaned and carpets washed. This weekend, the two little ones will get their room back. Or should I say Mommy and Daddy will finally get their room back?


February 3, 2006

I have seen this meme going around with several slight variations and due to a lack of something useful to contribute today, I thought I would also answer this one.

4 jobs you have had:

1. Sales lady in shoe shop – It was a weekend and school holiday job
2. Finance clerk at local Chamber of Industries
3. PA to Marketing Manager at above mentioned company
4. Accountant at Textile company

4 movies you could watch over and over:
1. Braveheart
2. Ghost
3. There’s something about Mary
4. Dirty Dancing

4 places you have lived:

1. Port Elizabeth
have never wanted to live/move anywhere else4

TV shows you like to watch:

1. The Closer
2. All the CSI’s
3. Egoli – local soapy
4. House

4 favourite books:

Don’t get much reading done lately. When I do, I read John Grisham or Danielle Steel – can’t pick a favourite

4 places you have been on vacation:
1. Cape Town
2. Johannesburg
3. Sun City
4. Durban

Have never left the country – one day I will be able to.

4 websites you visit daily:

1. Terri
2. …seeking Serenity
3. Chitty
4. Reluctant Nomad
Plus loads of other blogs…

4 favorite foods:

Seeing that I am on a strict watch-what-I-eat-plan at the moment, I will name the foods that is most difficult to have to avoid for now:
1. Pasta – like I make it, with lots of cream , mushrooms, garlic, etc,etc
2. Potato crisps
3. Bread
4. My cider drink – Hunters Dry

4 places you would rather be right now:

1. New Zealand
2. Ireland – just to say hi to my pals
3. Mauritius – would love to go there with Bazil(Mr B) to scuba-dive
4. Switzerland – want to go skiing

4 Bloggers you tag:

Consider yourself tagged if you want to do this. Maybe I will make an exception and tag a new blogger friend Celeste over at whatalotoffun

and for something funny to start off the weekend

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
“Heavens no, we bought it.”
“Then why don’t you drive it away.”
“We can’t drive.”
“Then why did you buy it?”
“We were told that if we bought a second hand car here we’d get screwed –

so we’re just waiting.